BE STILL
Here is my first blog being here in Mozambique. I spent the
first few weeks getting ready to travel and learning the culture and how to get
around. I also worked with an organization called Masana that is doing amazing
things with street kids. I hope to continue to be a part of that when I get
back to Maputo city in a few weeks. Right now, I’m traveling and seeing all the
different programs that Samaritan’s Purse is doing within Mozambique. Here is a
little of what I’ve been doing, seeing, and learning. Forgive me too…focusing
on my grammar and spelling was the least of my worries in writing all of this.
Bare with me.
I just had a hard last week… but one that will never leave
me and has brought so much richness to my life. I was picked up at my hotel on
Tuesday morning and taken to a remote village called, Muane. I was told that I
would be working with a Mozambican man who speaks English… but when that man was
driving me even further into the middle of nowhere he said he wouldn’t be
staying and that I would be working with a local Mozambican from the village
area that helped run the program, “Orphans and Vulnerable Children” and who
spoke ZERO English. So I said, “Ok, lord… I trust you.” I got there and set up
my tent and put my bags inside it and asked if my things were safe and he said,
“These are Christian people… they would never steal.” I took that with a grain
of salt and carried my important things with me wherever I went that day. But
soon learned that that was a true statement. So I was left with a joyful
Mozambican man and three women from the village… none of which spoke English. I
had eaten a banana that morning and then quickly ate a small apple and some
peanuts I had bought off the street a few days before. Then I left my tent to
meet them. When I got there, my friend said “Vamos” and smilled at me. I knew
that meant, “Let’s go”. Where? I had no idea. Haha. It was kind of fun that
way.
So, each woman grabbed a bag of something and put it on
their head and I watched with amazement and skepticism ( like it was a scam..
like they all had strings around their chins to hold things on their head ) as
they walked completely normal, balancing heavy things… At one point one lady
even grabbed my Capulana (which is basically a big piece of cloth to wrap around
like a long skirt) from around my waste, tightened, and jerked me around until
it was on better… all the while keeping the giant bag of rice balanced on her
head… WHAT?!! I was amazed. I was also worried it was going to fall on me.
So we began to walk… and walk.. and walk. It was flipping
hot and I had one small bottle of water that I had to ration for the entire
day. But I would never complain when I had three strong African women carrying
twice my load and usually with a baby on their back. They never even acted as though it was hard for them to do.. Probably
bc they do it every single day. And bc they’re awesome.
As we were walking, I couldn’t believe how beautiful and
peaceful it was around me. The village was like a little African Utopia ( as
far as what it looked like…bc there was definitely suffering ). Each family had
their own little area with a stick built hut, a little outdoor kitchen, fruit
trees, on swept-up sand, in a palm tree jungle. I couldn’t find any trash
anywhere and the ground was spotless. I learned later that every morning they
take a palm leaf and sweep the ground on their land. They did a darn good job. And
throughout the entire village, there were sand trails. So the people walked
everywhere in and through people’s homes and no one seemed to care. It was like
they were all family and they could walk in and out. I LOVED it.
We finally stopped at a house with an older woman and three
little kids. I then realized what we were doing. We were actually delivering
food to vulnerable children. We sat down and the woman made sure we had
something to sit on and then they began to talk. My friend talked to them
mostly.. talking to the older woman, and to the kids. They were speaking in
Portuguese and probably another dialect too so I had no idea what they were
saying. I did my best to understand what was going on and to pick up on any
words I might recognize. Then Lino would look at me and explain.. all in
Portuguese.. and somehow I understood what was happening. Kind of crazy. I
didn’t understand details ( like whether that was their mom and she couldn’t
care for the kids.. or if this woman had taken in orphans ) but I did
understand what we were doing there. And that was enough for me.
After we gave the kids food and they sat there just holding
it and looking at us.. the older woman started to cry. It was hard not to cry
with her. I didn’t even know why exactly she was crying… I just was sad for her
and cried too. I held her hand for a minute and looked at her and just spoke
English and tried to speak through my facial expressions and she seemed to
understand that I just wanted to tell her I was sorry and it will be ok. That
was just the first house.
We ended up walking that day for 4 ½ hours ( so even though
I had eaten hardly anything.. I was glad I decided to eat what I did before we
left )… and then 5 hours the next day. Delivering food to kids that need it..
in the hot sun. At the end of the day, my feet were filthy, I smelled like a
gym bag, and I had blisters on my feet from walking so far.
Some families were really joyful and laughed and kissed my
cheeks and others were really quiet, rarely smiled, and seemed grateful in
their desperation. I took pictures and the camera actually helped them laugh
some bc they were pretty camera shy and it would make them laugh. I was just
grateful they weren’t offended I was taking pictures of their lives.
The thing I really loved about this program is that
Samaritan’s Purse trains local people in the community how to care for the
kids. Most of the orphans now live with a local family and are given school
supplies for their education, food, and medical attention if needed. They even
teach the local people how to care for them psychosocially. They would ask the
women caring for them if the child was playing, interacting with other kids, being
active, etc. and if they weren’t, they would do exercises with them and help
them in that area. It was pretty awesome. And I was so glad it was the local
people doing it.. bc I think empowerment is key.
I really loved the program and the people and the place I
got to stay for a week. And I was glad I did bc my living situation was hard
and the language barrier was exhausting. I lived in a tent in the middle of
Africa and camped with a Mozambican man who had a tent on the other side of the
campsite.. in a village where I knew no one. I was in the middle of nowhere
with people I did not know, in a culture I was unfamiliar with, an area I was
unfamiliar with, food I was unfamiliar with, and I didn’t speak the language.
If I had to pee in the middle of the night, I had to really think it through bc
if I opened my tent that meant bugs would get in and then I would have to walk
through the bush to get to the “long drop” toilet. …… which isnt a toilet, its
a dirt hole in the ground….in the dark. After a while, I didn’t have a shower
of course either. But there was a woman cooking for my Mozambican friend and I
that lived in a hut down the road and everyday.. she would put a bucket of cold
water, and a bucket of hot water in this little enclosed stick hut area with
some giant green leaves. Haha. When I first walked in I was like.. what the
heck do I do with those leaves?! And the hot water was just boiled so I could
barely touch it. But I knew it was clean so I wanted to use that bucket. So I
just started trying different ways to bath.. with two buckets of water and some
leaves… and no soap. Haha. I laughed at myself A LOT. I was grateful for sweet
Regina for giving me something to bath with.. no matter how difficult it was
for me. Bc I was so dirty that if I ran my fingers through my hair and on my
scalp, black dirt grease would get under my fingernails.. haha I was nasty! And
my feet hurt so bad that the cold water was literally like heaven on them.
I also was fed three meals a day. Breakfast consisted of
some sort of meal that was so heavy I would probably not even eat for dinner if
I had to choose. SO MUCH FOOD! Cassava, with chicken or sometimes fish, and
salad with onions and tomatoes, and chima which is basically corn meal ( or
thick mashed potatoes ) with “chips” which are large greasy French fries. And
then usually half a papaya… and those suckers are big! That was just breakfast.
Then lunch was basically the same except they would add rice and more meat.
Then dinner was the same. And they kept saying “ EAT, EAT!” I got to a point
where I wanted to stand up and say “ stop making me eat! I want to throw
up!!!!” but it was rude not to eat it so I just did my best to not throw up haha.
And I def had a time or two when I really thought I might.. my stomach was not
happy. At least there was no gluten!! J
And at least I was walking ALL day long. I was also extremely grateful that I
had food and was being cooked for and cared for every single day. Regina did
not have to do that. So grateful.
The language barrier was probably the most difficult part
for me. That or the fact that they were constantly trying to give me things…
when they were the ones in need… and they wanted to make sure I was happy and
watched everything I did. I always was being watched. So I always had to be
“ON’ even if I felt sick I had to put a smile on my face and keep going bc I
couldn’t communicate that I was feeling ill. At one point I just went in my
tent and didn’t come out for a while before lunch and when I came out I just
pointed to my stomach like I was sick.. but then they wouldn’t leave me alone
about that haha. It was difficult. I think had I been able to speak the
language I could have explained myself and not felt trapped to doing everything
they told me to do. I wanted to tell them to give the food to people in the village..
and I tried.. but they didn’t understand, they would just say eat eat! Haha
My Mozambican friend wanted to learn English probably more
than I wanted to learn Portuguese…. And I wanted to learn it badly!! So we
would try and teach eachother. But sometimes I would ask a question and he
would say ok, ok. Yea. Ok. And shake his head yes… when I had asked him how
many children he had… in Portuguese!! I clearly wasn’t asking right haha. And
if I spoke in English, he would just repeat every word I said.. not even
knowing what it meant. In the middle of my sentence he would be repeating every
word I said. Hilarious. We would also have other moments where we would just
die laughing bc we didn’t understand anything the other one was saying or I
wouldn’t do something right. There was lots of laughter… mostly at me. Haha
they loved me and I loved them.. it was just so hard to communicate or
understand anything!! Sometimes we would understand eachother ( mostly if I
spoke in spanish really slowly ) and it was always such an accomplishment..
like id just finished a marathon and was so relieved to be done. Haha.
But spiritually, and emotionally.. I was really being moved
and softened. Which is what I had been praying for. I learned and am continuing
to learn things from the Lord through these awesome people. But the thing that
stuck out the most was the idea of “Being still” and knowing that God is God….
This place I had the privilege of being apart of was so calm.
Everything about it. There were no cars, no outside noises, no stress… and the
people were just calm. I couldn’t understand it at first. There was so much
need there, orphans everywhere and people that were injured and needed medical
attention, people that were sick and hungry, people caring for more people than
they could handle….. but they were calm. They were still. They weren’t freaking
out that they didn’t have what they needed that day. They just knew that God
was God and He would provide for them. They were proactive and found food and
farmed what they could and did their best to care for themselves and everyone
else around them. But they didn’t force anything. They didn’t ask anything of
me, they didn’t beg, they didn’t steal, they just were good stewards of what
they were given and were patient that God cared for them and had a plan. He
took care of them. Every house had a fruit tree of some sort ( GOOD fruit too )
a lot of times they weren’t ripe enough or were bad so they couldn’t eat them.
But to me, it was evidence that God provides for His people.. no matter where
they are. Everything was just calm. Even the animals…they would just let their
steers, pigs, goats, and chickens roam free and they wouldn’t go anywhere. They
would just graze and be calm , like they were house dogs or something.. It was
crazy. I started to think how America gets so stressed out when we don’t have
what we “need” so we take it upon ourselves to control the situation, and get
what we need. ( And I understand we need to take care of
ourselves and do our best to be proactive..but letting go is what I’m talking
about ). These people cant do that. They can only do what they can with what
they are given but beyond that, they HAVE to trust the Lord. They cant depend on
anything else. So they give up control to Him and let Him do His job of caring
and providing for them. Sometimes the need is still there.. and might be for a
long time. But they still just choose to “Be still, and know that God is God”.
It makes for such a peaceful place.. even when there is so much desperation. I
really can’t explain it except that it was still, and peaceful. God was so present
bc He was in control…the people let Him have control. I want to live like that.
I want to depend on the Lord for everything and let go so that I can have that
kind of peace. I want to be still. And I believe God is teaching me how to do
that. I came across this verse that fits the description of this village so
much…
“ The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of
righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. My people will live in
peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.
Though hail flattens the forest and the city is leveled completely, how blessed
you will be, sowing your seed by every stream, and letting your cattle and
donkeys range free”.
-Isaiah
32:17-20
I didn’t look into the context of that verse.. but just
reading it like that.. fits the description perfectly. There will be hard,
tragic times, but we will be blessed if we have the Lord. There is peace even
when things are so difficult and needs are everywhere… bc God is God. I’m
learning to be still.
This is one of the many things I’m learning here in
Mozambique. And ive left out so many details. But I can only write so much.
There could be so much more to discuss even in that verse alone, but right now…
I this is where I am. I just got to live in a remote village with African
people seeing God do amazing things through people that are willing to be His
hands and feet… I am beyond blessed to be here. I miss comfort…and my family
and friends, but I’ve also missed Africa.
Here are some pictures :)
